Dealing with Infertility During the Holidays
There’s nothing quite like going through infertility and loss (or any grief for that matter) during the holidays. It can feel isolating like everyone else is happy and celebrating with the family they desire. This time of year highlights the one thing you are living without— a living child (or children for those with secondary infertility).
Whether you are going through IVF, IUI or grieving a pregnancy loss, the last thing you typically want to do is be bombarded with images of happy families on social media and holiday cards. While some find comfort being around loved ones during the holidays, it can also be stressful and energetically draining being around so many little ones. Not to mention dodging intrusive questions and comments such as “the clock is ticking”.
So if you are like the many couples struggling with infertility, here are a few ways to make it through this holiday season.
Limit social media. Seriously, turn off your notifications. Delete your apps. Whatever it takes to protect your heart.
Whether it is saying no to that holiday party or family gathering where there will be a bunch of little ones. It is okay to sit this year out and set boundaries.
Seeing holiday card after card can be so triggering. Do yourself a favor and ask your partner to open the mail this month.
This time of year is notorious for spending time with loved ones. Make a point to set aside some time for yourself. A spa day, a vacation, or just a small treat (read: peppermint mocha latte) is much deserved.
Be selective about who you spend time with this holiday season. And if you must spend Christmas Eve with Aunt Susan who is sure to ask intrusive questions, make a game plan in advance with your partner— what you’ll say, when you’ll leave, etc.
If you are grieving a loss or losses, it can bring comfort to honor them in some way during the holidays. Perhaps buying a stocking with their initial on it, lighting a candle or making an ornament to hang on your tree.
Last but not least, if you need extra support during this time be sure to reach out to a therapist or find a support group through Postpartum Support International.
